Duck, Duck, Ishtar
by The Bard's Apprentice
Summary: How come Ishtar's surrounded by hot men, but has only a crush? yaoi warnings: JillxKrai, DarresxKrai, DarresxYujinn, Duzzelx...Everybody?
1. 1Suspicious much?

Disclaimer: VG & all its delicious bishies - & the strange girl thing too -belong to Judal. don't sue me, u wouldn't get anything anyway.

Warnings: 1)implied yaoi & thoughts -they need more of that in this series methinks. 2) Jill's pov, doesn't much affect things, i promise.

Hi there! this is my second attempt at a fanfic, my first in a long while. so plz bear with me, these are un-betaed. i couldn't come up with the title for this & my muses have been very sporadic lately.i may write more...i have _some_ ideas, i just need reviews to help me along. Anyway, here's the juice. Enjoy!

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Jill snuck another peek at Krai. The larger boy was dozing at his post on the other side of the Princess' door. His head hung heavily back against the thick doorframe, his bangs lolling over his headband to just brush the lids of his green eyes. Jill almost wished those eyes were open so he could watch their quick & mischievous flashes. But then he wouldn't be able to stare so openly at his fellow guardsman.

Krai snorted softly in his sleep & mumbled incoherently. His head rolled around and down to hang onto his chest from his strong neck. This made his soft golden hair fall like a porcupine's quills, jutting out from his head in all directions. Jill stifled a giggle & gazed at the outline of Krai's streamline nose. The outline of firm, inviting lips caused Jill to wet his own with a quick swipe of his tongue. Then there was his partner's gently rounded chin and his smooth, sharp jaw line. Jill could almost feel the skin taught along the bones beneath that jaw under his fingertips. He longed to reach out and brush them along that beautiful line of warm flesh.

Krai often teased him for being an innocent virgin & soft, but what he didn't know wouldn't hurt either of them. Right? Krai didn't need to know he'd been raised in the brothel where his mother had worked, or that he'd often been called upon to provide services himself when he'd reached a certain age. But that was all before he was recruited to the Armed Guards of Phelios. Krai didn't need to know the extant of experience Jill actually had.

Jill's sad musings & indiscriminant staring were abruptly interrupted by the door bursting open & a very sleepy Ishtar dropping a surprised looking kyawl kitten on the hall floor & then slamming the door. The cat sat where he'd been dropped, blinking. He then sauntered off, looking for all the world like he was pouting.

It was then that Krai's head sprang up & his dignity tried to restore itself. "Ah! Yessir! Huh? Wha?" He glanced around, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Jill giggled at the bleary expression & explained what was going on.

"Ishtar just put her cat out. Darres isn't back yet."

Krai stretched, showing off his firmly sculpted torso & thick arm muscles. Jill's mouth watered. "Didn't he go off with Yuginn again?"

Jill had to shake himself out of the things he'd been imagining. "Huh?"

"That's the third time this week he's gone to see Yuginn privately after Ishtar's gone to bed." Krai sniggered with a knowing gleam in his eye. Jill was so distracted by those emerald depths; he found it difficult to concentrate on what the other was saying again. "Figures the Captain would go for that type. Tall, blonde, feminine, but probably dominating." He smirked & winked at Jill, who, having entirely missed what he was talking about, blushed deeply & averted his eyes from the honey-skinned Adonis, adjusting his scabbard & staff as he did so to hide his growing appreciation of the other's beauty.

Krai laughed outright at the younger boy's response & leaned over to elbow him in the ribs. "C'mon, Jill! Two men together isn't that strange! You're so cute when you're embarrassed!" He laughed some more & returned to his side of the door.

Jill stared wide-eyed. Had Krai just said what he thought he said? He played the words over again in his head. Yes, it certainly seemed he had said that. And that other part too. Krai thought he was cute…! Then the voice replaying in his head seemed to change, growing louder & more demanding.

"Jill! Wake up!" He snapped to attention and then gaped at the image a very disheveled Darres made before them. Jill could feel himself starting to sweat as Krai unsuccessfully tried to restrain his chuckles. Darres threw a sharp glance at Krai, who bit his soft, dark, inviting lip before piping up.

"Uh, sir—" Krai made a wiping motion on his own chin. Now Jill found himself hard-pressed not to giggle. Darres frowned & reached up to his chin. His eyes went round and he quickly wiped away the drips of opaque whiteness and straightened his loosely-strapped chest plate. He cleared his throat authoritatively as he assumed his post and the others calmed themselves.

They stood there for another five minutes, Jill trying not to stare too openly at Krai, Krai blatantly watching Darres, his face a giving off _exactly_ what he was thinking, & Darres at first ignoring Krai & then gaining a far off look as Krai smirked even more. They stood guard like this until determined footfalls were heard coming down the corridor and they all snapped to attention. The Princess' personal doctor rounded the corner and approached the door, long blond hair flowing behind him, his lips reddened & full against his pale complexion. Darres stepped out to intercept him, glaring in a way Jill wasn't quite sure was necessary.

"I'm afraid Her Highness has retired for the evening and isn't to be disturbed."

"I've brought her medicine from Yujinn. You wouldn't want her getting ill, now would you, _Captain_." The doctor drew his fingers gently along the side of Darres' face, shaking a bottle in his other hand.

Something was going on here Jill decided. Darres had come back from his "meeting" in a bad mood, and now Ishtar's doctor showed up looking all snogged out, having just been to see Yujinn himself, & started flirting with the Captain.

Darres swallowed & continued to glare at the doctor. "Very well. You may enter. Just don't expect her to _like_ being woken up." Darres stepped aside & the doctor entered the dragon's lair-oops, um the Princess' room.

All was calm for a few moments and Jill's gaze started to drift back in Krai's general direction. He stood so erect when Darres was around, trying to impress the boss probably. Jill let his mind wander Krai's body a bit more.

_**BANG!**_ Something hit the other side of the door – hard, making them all jump. "I don't care who's banging who, you stupid bat! I told you to get out!" The door flew open and a very surprised looking doctor was pushed out onto the hall floor. "And _stay out_ this time!" The door slammed. The doctor stood where he'd been shovedblinking a few times, along with everyone else, & then sauntered off, looking for all the world like he was pouting.

Yes, Jill decided, something was definitely going on.

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again, my muses are fickle, but reviews help, so tell ur VG fan friends. virtual prises for reviewers, best suggestion for how to continue the fic gets velcro plushies of Ishtar & Darres -they stick together in perverted ways.

Love loves til next time!


	2. 2Poor Little Prude Boy

It's really short, i kno. & somewhat pointless i think...or maybe not... I DON'T KNOW::cries: i really don't know where i should go from here.

Shimer of an Angel: thank-u SSOOOOOOOO much for commenting. any ideas about where i should take this now? i know kinda what the point of the thing is but i could achieve that MANY different ways. Which pairing that i listed do u want to see next? or maybe a brooding Ishtar? (which there will be eventually) HELP! please!

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The next day dawned clear & warm. By noon the guards' practice yard was hazy with the dry heat rising off the stones. Jill awoke in a light sweat a while later from a very pleasant dream, just as Krai was coming back from the baths.

"Hey, I didn't know you were so good at pitching a tent!" The older guard smirked as Jill sleepily blinked at him in confusion. Suddenly, Jill sprang forward to shield his sheet-covered lap with his arms, blushing furiously. Krai cracked up.

He threw his damp towel at Jill's head,blanketing it completely. "Heh he. Don't worry about it, kid. Everybody gets morning hard-ons. Hell, I'm sure the Captain even gets em!" He smirked some more. As Jill removed the towel from his head & vision he realized it was the only thing Krai had been wearing. He stared at the succulence before him as Krai hunted for a fresh shirt,then buried his now beet red face over his growing problem.

"What were you dreaming about anyway, huh?" Krai glanced over at the ball of Jill, which simply whimper-grunted in response, and chuckled. "You're such a cute little prude," he laughed as he pulled on his breaches & ruffled the brunette's bed-tousled hair as he headed out of the muggy room.

Jill's face rose toward the closing door, gazing longingly after his bunkmate. He wondered if Krai would call him that if he had actually done what he'd been imagining as the older guard had dressed. He sighed sadly & began to jack himself off.


	3. How the Cat Caught the Canary

Sorry for the wait, life likes to sidetrack my muses quite often. Thank-you to all of you who left wonderful reviews:

Shimmer of an Angel- hope u're still here with me. thanks for the original good response

LiNes- one serving of Darres/Yujinn coming up!

DixieGoddess- Thanks so much! I'm afraid the whole point of this fic is that Ishtar doesn't get any tho. But knowing her, that might change before this all ends... plus Duzzie's seems pretty, um... :mutters to self:

anyway, keep sending me ideas and critiques! Hopefullyi can write more if i get some good inspirations!

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Darres did indeed have a hard on that early afternoon, but not from any dream. He stood behind the Princess chair, observing her Highness' Lessons – & the devilish man giving them, while delicately shielding his crotch. Ishtar sat there bored, absently stroking the kyawl on her lap, who purred a loud, sated purr. Darres couldn't be sure, but he would swear that the cat occasionally looked his direction & smirked. Then there were the moments in which Yujinn's attention would settle briefly on the fur ball & it was as if something passed between them, unknown to the others present. Then _Yujinn_ would smirk & go back to lecturing. All in all, the Captain found the entire thing quite unsettling.

Yujinn's velvety voice & subtly swaying curves weren't helping any. It made the memory of the previous night _so_ much more vivid in his mind.

Flashback

Darres had never had an encounter with another man like this. However, he was finding he was talented in this skill area – or at least Yujinn seemed to think so judging by the tense fist in his dark hair & the moans & sighs coming from the man whose lap he knelt before. The blonde especially seemed to enjoy it when Darres did this thing with his tongue… Yujinn let out a sudden cry, jumping in Darres smirking mouth.

Behind the moans & enraptured face, Yujinn was smirking too. He'd known this would be worth the wait & the effort of seducing the Captain.

"Aaaahhh! Ooooo." Oh, Phelios, there was that tongue thing again! He'd wanted to take things slowly with the inexperienced younger man (for the past couple nights Yujinn had simply let the flirting and kissing take their course), but he couldn't help himself now. He pulled Darres off him as gently as his passion allowed & slid to his knees before the bewildered captain, staring mischievously into his eyes.

Duzzel had pouted only so long before he thought of something to keep him busy after Ishtar had thrown him out. Actually, it was the same thing he'd been thrown out _for_. But when the King of Vampires was horny, he was horny; & he _wasn't_ accustomed to being turned down or thrown out. So off he'd gone in search of Yujinn, who he'd found to be quite impish & always ready for a bit of action.

When he reached the door to Yujinn's workshop, Duzzel chuckled to himself that the mage seemed to already be busy with someone else. No matter. Three was always more fun than two. He smoothed his long silver hair & knocked. He waited only a moment to hear some scuffling & a muttered, "Shit," from the other side of the door, before slipping elegantly into the room.

Yujinn sat primly in his favorite chair, hair mussed, robes slightly askew, with his long fingers tapered together. Darres knelt next to him, scrambling to buckle his breast plate on. When Yujinn saw who it was, his arrogant posture dropped and he laughed, relaxing.

"Oh! It's just you." He grinned flirtatiously at the vampire and rested his chin on a hand. Darres was not quite so relieved. He glanced wide-eyed between Yujinn and the intruder, who was now grinning back like the cat who ate the canary. "Darres, you've met the Princess' … _Doctor_, have you not?" The newcomer's gaze darkened momentarily on the emphasis put on "doctor" but quickly returned to "evil pussy cat" mode as he turned to the Captain and grinned wider.

"I wasn't aware you'd made Captain Darres one of your play things, Yujinn," he said with a smirk. The Captain blanched, continued to stare back and forth for a confused moment and then hastened to leave the room.

"Tomorrow, then Darres," Yujinn called as Duzzel stepped aside to let the other pass without a word.

The door shut and the remaining two shared a glance before bursting into laughter. A moment later, Duzzel had swept across the floor to lean over the sitting blonde, once more grinning his feral grin. "So…"

End Flashback

Darres sighed at the memory & once more tried to ease his discomfort by shifting his posture.

"Wouldn't you agree, Captain Darres?"

"What?" All eyes were turned to him & Yujinn was grinning that bloody grin of his again.

"I was explaining to Her Highness why it is so very important for her to understand all the relationships of the courtiers around her."

"Yes. Court relationships. Yes, it's important to know one's true allies." Darres glared at Ishtar's tutor. Yujinn hid his laughter by turning his back to them. Jill & Krai glanced at each other nervously. Sir Keld narrowed his eyes in confusion. Ishtar scowled & snorted. Her cat sneezed.

Darres resolved to have a word with the blonde mage in private later that evening after the Princess turned in for the night.

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Review! & you'll get more!


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